Review: The Birds of Satan - The Birds of Satan
[Coattail Riders; 2014]
Score: 7.5/10
By Justin Silk, Staff Writer
Key Tracks: "Too Far Gone to See," "Raspberries," "Pieces of the Puzzle"
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the musical bird boxing match of the century!
In this corner we have the newcomer, The Birds of Satan, composed of Foo Fighters drummer Taylor Hawkins!
The crowd roars.
In the opposite corner will be the reigning champs, Them Crooked Vultures! This legendary group will be represented in the by Foo Fighters main man Dave Grohl, Queens of the Stone Age’s Josh Homme and Led Zeppelin’s John Paul Jones.
Grohl: “Hey Hawkins, this is a call out to you, son. Don’t let me get the best of you tonight. I don’t want you to be DOA, ya hear?”
Homme: “You tell him, Dave. This fight is going to be like clockwork for you buddy. Everybody knows that you are insane! Sing him a lullaby to paralyze and then just burn the fucking witch!”
Jones: “Just don’t get his blood on my Kashmir.”
Hawkins: “Hey guys, my songs are pretty good. I think I might just knock you out, Dave.”
Grohl: “At times like these, you are still learning to fly. It’s a long road to ruin, but you definitely have the potential to break out.”
Homme: “Hawkins’ songs are admittedly pretty sick sick sick! He’s not a regular john. Keep your eyes peeled, Dave. No one knows what’s going to happen tonight.”
Hawkins: “Thanks for showing my tunes some respect guys. Not to toot my own horn, but they deserve it. I worked really hard to pay tribute to awesome ‘70s rock bands, but I still want to do my own thing. My album has the same fresh, exciting energy as your first one with the Foo’s, Dave.”
Grohl: “Your album isn’t bridge-burning like some of the things we have done. But it has some wheels, and is up in arms. You’re certainly no pretender. You know the walk.”
Jones: “His album deserves a whole lotta love. His songs never remain the same. Plus each one definitely has crunge, which makes me give four sticks about them.”
Hawkins: “Yeah, I suppose my debut offering is pretty diverse. 'The Ballad of the Birds of Satan' is a powerful opener, even though it goes on for a little too long. Most of the other songs are less in-your-face. 'Thanks For the Line' and 'Pieces of the Puzzle' in particular are just catchy and fun, but they’re well written. I think that’s why I’m able to be in the ring with you guys tonight. I follow my own vision, which is diverse, clear and refreshing. ”
Homme: “‘Too Far Gone to See’ has been tangled up plaid in my head since I first heard it. It’s the feel-good hit of the summer, and it’s only spring!”
Hawkins: “Thanks Josh. It might feel good to you, but it doesn’t to me. It’s the most emotional song and has some tragic lyrics, making it the undoubted highlight of the record. The smooth 'Raspberries' and the rocking 'Pieces of the Puzzle' are the other two songs that will resonate the most with listeners. I’m really proud of my album, and I’m glad you guys enjoy it too and are being such good sports in this boxing match. Now let’s fight!”
As great as Hawkins’ record was, his songs still couldn’t outmatch the three heavyweight champions of rock ‘n’ roll. After seven rounds (songs), The Birds of Satan lost to Them Crooked Vultures. Hawkins only had this to say about the final round:
Hawkins: “Don’t fuck with them crooked vultures. They are gunmen with new fangs. After that fight I truly feel like I was spinning on daffodils. Ugh…”
